3/26/23: I think I am losing a false perception of who I am. I am also losing my hair. I am scared I will lose all of it. All of my hair, all of my sanity.
4/25/23: being easily influenced is a form of self-devaluation.
4/27/23: i hate these loops. i am so scared.
5/13/23:
Here other people are/“hear” other people are.
Everyone else is okay. am i okay? No. Is this a past version of myself I am talking to?
6/19/23: god does not listen when i beg. so i am still alive.
9/15/23: I just keep failing and failing and failing. itd be funny if it wasn’t so fucking embarrassing. there’s a pit in my throat. an energy I can’t release…I know why. I know why. I know why. I’m so fucking tired of knowing why. I’m done knowing why. Ignorance is bliss. Addiction is the price I pay for knowledge. I’m not even smart. I wish I were dead.
11/19/23: the darkness decorates itself like a lover.
11/25/23: the days drag me along with them. time is not a gentle guide.
12/11/23: Curiosity is dead in this space-time continuum. It is fear that propels me now. the guise of movement hides the stagnant and circular and cylindrical insanity and the pretending and silencing and suffocating. i am nothing except an amalgamation of everyone I’ve ever met. I feel like I’ve died at least once every month this year. The ghosts hang out in my head.
404 diary 